Author: autisminourhouse

Really. There never is a dull moment. When I think there may be one, the ensuing tornado of boyness makes me think no wonder they were so quiet.

Today we have 6 and 8 year well checks. This time last year, we were just beginning our journey to an ASD dx . Now, we’re there, in the thick of it. We are dealing with issues for the eldest that both make me chuckle and cringe. He’s expressing disappointment and anger in ways that make his life harder. That’s the crux of it. It’s harder for him. I hate that.

Meanwhile, the wee one is enjoying school so very much. I’m proud and shocked. This is the kid who said he knew enough after preschool and that he didn’t need kindergarten. It’s fun to watch him love school. Isn’t that what kinder is all about. Instilling a love of school. Everyday, he’s so proud of his behavior, his newly acquired sight words…he is so enthusiastic.

I had a minor (not really. At the time, it felt major) heart break yesterday walking in to our parent teacher conference. I don’t know if I’ve blogged about how at the end of last year there was a child who would taunt the eldest. Everyday. When I was there looking on. This child. This child calls my boys name. When my boy doesn’t answer, he continues calling. Then calls him a crybaby. He did it yesterday as we were walking down the hallway. I’ve never wanted to pick a child up by his shirt collar so badly. It hurts. It hurts me. It hurt Cheech. This child. He is so lucky that the “wee” one didn’t beat him up. Chet looked at him…in the eye…and said very calmly (that eery kind of calm he could have only inherited through genetics from his father) “Don’t you. EVER. talk like that about my brother.”

Did it hurt me? Yes. Did it hurt the wee one? Yes. Did it hurt big brother? Nope. Did he notice? Nope. I should learn from that. Words only hurt when you let them. He didn’t even hear because this kid isn’t on his radar. This child. Well, he’s in my sights, none the less. He doesn’t know yet the unsleeping ways of a mama bear.

We are ever moving forward, not having a dull moment. I know, when I’m old, sitting on my porch in my rocking chair, missing the tornado of boyness, I will look back and long for the days of never dull moments.

I see a phasing out of parent/teacher face to face communication. Sure, email is handy. Except, when it’s not. Sometimes, emails go with out a response. We over look them. We (not me, of course) ignore them. Another problem with email is you can’t read tone (unless you are some sort of psychic). In these days of holding pattens for kids in the am before class, and drive through pick up lines (just a heads up, you’d better be there 45 minutes before release or you are at the BACK of the line) there is little to no parent teacher interaction. Somehow, it also eliminates parent/parent interaction. “how’s kindergarten treating little Susie?”. “Just fine. How’s Fred doing with sight words?”. These little interactions help parents (at least this one) feel connected. Now, it takes a formal meeting to get “face time” with a teacher. When so much could be done with a “Hey, I have a quick question about Fred’s math paper. Do you have a minute after you get the kids to their respective cars?”. Please don’t complain about lack of parent involvement (and helicopter mamas who send emails almost daily because i (I mean they) cant ask a quick question) when it’s been made more and more difficult to “see” the teacher.

Parent/teacher parent/parent communication is vital. Communication, the face to face kind, is vital in life. So, as I blog remotely, pretend we are chatting over coffee and are have real face time.

Hugs,
K

A friend asked me once if I’d ever noticed fever changing my little spectrumite. I’d not given it a lot of
thought at the time. The boy has had fever of unknown origin for the past two years now. His new normal temp is 100.5. Nothing outrageous. Nothing that changes him. Then, this. Sickness. Virus, maybe strep, still to be determined. High fever. 103, 104, down to 102 with medicine. He’s a different child. He wants to cuddle, he’s CALM, he seems to listen. I obviously don’t want him to be sick. I suppose fever changes all of us. Just wondering if other moms of kids on the spectrum had noticed similar goings on. I remember this friend telling me that moms and dads of kids who weren’t as high functioning, would try to induce fever because of these differences. I can understand that if the only time your child was verbal and communicative was when he had fever. So, I guess I’m saying, in my up too early, sleep is way off schedule way, fever can be a blessing. It’s our body’s way to healing, it gives mamas some extra cuddles, it gives some kids the need to cuddle and communicate and express. So, fever. I don’t want you here for long. But thanks for the healing (and the snuggle time).

Xoxo
K

So, we made it. I haven’t had a complete mental breakdown…yet. All thanks to that handy LSSP I mentioned in the previous blog post. 60/40 split. Really, the boy made it through. So, it’s more like batting (well, what’s a good batting average?) He’s a survivor. I need to learn to trust him. Today’s chaos really did a number on my confidence, though. Actually, I take that back. I know now Joe’s teacher is on his side and willing to think outside the box (gosh, I don’t like that phrase, but it applies here) in order to help him…Maybe, though, it’s to help her sanity. Either way, we win. It’s five o’clock here. I’m relaxing and letting the boys unwind a bit too. My boys are smart enough to do a little damage playing video games, right? I need the moments of peace to unwind, let the week go and gear up for a better one next week. I mean, only four days, what can happen, right? Hugs and love, K PS Thanks for all the kind words, support and prayers from you guys. They mean the world to me!

so who likes transitions? not me. i’m not good at it. not even good ones. not even finally getting to be in the place we’ve dreamed for the last ten years…how has it been that long? anyway, second grade and kindergarten have begun amidst a BUNCH of other changes. the little one has had some seriously, frighteningly, amazingly smoothe sailing. he’s loving school. he has this little blonde angel who says “hi, chet” to him every morning as i walk him in. any of you phineas and ferb vewiers will know what i’m talking about here, i swear she looks at my baby the way isabella looks at phinneas. i also feel like “whatchaaa dooooinnn?” is going to come out of her mouth next. the eldest has not had such an easy transition into a new school. the first day of school started off horribly. when i say horribly, you are thinking that is an exaggeration. it is. horribly doesn’t do it justice. we were off from the start. he finally gets to his room and it’s BAD (unbeknownst to the mama). i take cheech to school. i go have breakfast with my husband for his birthday. i realize i need to take the eldest’s inhaler and epipen to school before i head to my preschool job. cool. i don’t have to be there until ten thirty (i think). i go to the nurses office. wait 20 minutes. get my 20 minutes in, and who is there waiting for me? the principal, vice-principal and the counselor at joe’s new school. to myself i think, crap, it’s only 9:30…what could have gone THAT wrong already? one word. ok. i’m going to make it into two just for drama’s sake. melt down. so, i visit with a very kind group of women, cry a bit in front of relative strangers, and get back to my car at 10. sweet, i have just enough time to make it to my meet the teacher with my littles. i have FIVE missed calls. i am five minutes late, mascara a mess and a total ball of nerves. tuesday. much smoother. thank (insert your diety here). wednesday. worse than monday. what????? tears from mama. letter from the teacher. letter to my favorite LSSP EVER and the best advocate and mama bear calmer downer ever! reply from above LSSP reassuring me that YES, i was over thinking things. letter back to the teacher. talks intermittently with the eldest…one can only stand so much, you know? him or me? both! this brings us to today, thursday. guess what??? the note in his folder said “great day!” i have never been so HAPPY to see those two words in my life. of course above mentioned spy LSSP had given me a heads up as to the day’s progression. quick e-mail to teacher telling her how relieved i was that they had a great day. her response made me happier still. she said joe was on the verge of several meltdowns but that he made the right choice every time. so, for the first week of school so far we are shooting 50/50. today’s success has given the boy and i some confidence back in ourselves. we are lucky to have the support that we do. you know who you are. i love you all! xoxoxo k