Autism In Our House

Health.? (Do me a favor and read that like someone who upspeaks. You know when someone gives a statement, but the end sound comes up so that it sounds like a question.?)  I’m supposed to write about health. This topic brought on such serious panic and desire to procrastinate that I vacuumed and emptied a basket of papers and cleaned the toilet.  That’s how badly I did NOT what to write about health.

I could take the route of talking about BigBrudder’s health.  Goodness knows he’s been his own medical mystery and I could probably fill four medical texts with what I’ve learned since he was born.  Really, that would be cheating. That would be easy. That’s why I need to tackle this topic and take it in another direction.

I ran to the store today to return movies we watched last night.  There in Wal-Mart I spied the dollar bin of movie theatre sized candy.  I don’t really like candy, but my husband LOVES Hot Tamales.  Being the lovely wife I am, I bought him a package and found some Whoppers for myself. Being me, kind of compulsive, I should not have put the whoppers in the front seat with me. I ate the whole box. Why? Because I was anxious about this post, and I’m compulsive. If I so much as think about a new sofa, I will be stuck on that topic like glue until the next thing pops up.

I’m compulsive about reading:  If I start a book, I finish it within a day, usually. I do the bare minimum to fulfill my families’ needs during this time.  I’m compulsive about my children’s health.  I am diligent about well checks, orthodontist and dentist appointments, coughs, allergies, rashes, scrapes, and bruises. You name it, I’ve worried about it or taken my children to the doctor for it. I’m compulsive about checking the online grade book, checking my e-mails to make sure no one has had issues throughout the day.  I’m compulsive about checking my Facebook page stats. I’m also compulsive about avoiding things I don’t like:  cleaning, folding clothes, talking about the way I’ve neglected my health.

Ooooh. I just said it; typed it really. I’ve neglected my health.  I know ALL the reasons I shouldn’t.  Seriously, you can’t have gone to as many pediatric specialists at varying hospitals and NOT know the reasons you shouldn’t neglect your health. Yet, I have. It all started when my babes were little.  There really WASN’T time to make those pesky “ladies doctor” appointments. And I really HATE going to the dentist, so one more reason to not go was easy to justify. If you need help justifying something, I’m your girl.  Did you know I haven’t been to the doctor in over two years? Yup. Not for a sore throat, a cough, nada. I went once the year before that because I had an enflamed lymph node. I went once the year before that and the year before that. I’ve been telling myself, “When x happens, you’ll make that much needed gynie appointment.”  Or “When y happens, you’ll get back into the swing of going to the dentist every six months.”

Here’s my ugly truth: I’m fat. Basically, I don’t want to go to the doctor because the thought of someone seeing my fat naked body freaks me the hell out. Shame. I’m ashamed I’ve let myself get so out of shape. It’s easier to say, “Oh but the boy has therapy. Or surgery. Or an orthodontist appointment.” Than to admit that.  Now you know as much as my best friend. If you find out my weight, you’ll know as much about me as God.

Last week, a family member of ours was diagnosed with Leukemia. She’s about a year younger than I am. She has four kids and a husband who count on her.  (Let’s let that sink in a minute.)

I have two friends who are my age that have battled two rare cancers for some so young. Without their diligence to the care and upkeep of their overall health, I know they wouldn’t be with us today.

I don’t want to use anyone else’s cancer battle to further my story, but from this point forward, I’m not neglecting my health. I’ve starting exercising. That way when I go to the doctor and they ask if I exercise I can honestly say yes. I’m flossing at least every other day so when I go to the dentist I can answer honestly there too. My calendar is still a bit full for the next two months, but after that, I promise, I’m making those appointments whether I want to or not.