Do These Shoes Make Me Look Fat?

Today, as always, I ask you the hard-hitting questions. I am an investigative reporter extraordinaire. I have approximately 332 days, 9 hours and 7 minutes to say I am in my thirties.  Don’t trust me? Click here for a countdown timer. I’m knocking on forty’s door. I am short. I am round. But there’s one thing I’ve got going on: I have slim ankles. I know, right? This is not at all shallow at all of me to be proud of. I am on a quest for cute, sassy but comfortable (Shut up. I’m almost 40. Comfort is a priority now.) shoes. I’m in search of THE perfect bootie (maybe?). The one that I can wear with crop pants (Wait, do people do that?) but that can also be worn with boot cut jeans (hallelujah I hear skinny jeans are out!). Today, I scour the interwebs searching for shoes to go try on this weekend that don’t pinch, rub or make my toes feel like they are going to fall off and are splurge worthy (Relax, husband if in the off chance you are reading this. Not huge splurge. Just not Target shoes splurge.). So, do these shoes make me look fat?

• The bootie I think I’m most likely to actually wear every day.

• The one I really hope doesn’t hurt like a SOB because OH MY GAWD!
• These are the ones I would buy if I didn’t have what they call “athletic calves.”
• ) I’m kinda late to the party with this brand’s wedges. Are they still cool?

• I made a LOT of questionable choices in the mid ninety’s . One of which was getting rid of a pair of super awesome moto boots like this.