So mad. So sad. So hurt.

Warning: this mama has a heart that is pounding. My palms are sweating. It’s like just before we see the hulk.

I know that in the wake of the mass murder of innocent children in CT, we are all looking for the why! But here is why I’m sad, I’m mad and I’m scared. I feared this since the first utterance of the word s autism and Aspergers on the news. I see people who I’ve been friends with for twenty plus years and acquaintances “like” posts where someone had talked about “these crazies” who are “weird” needing to be locked away before they can do something like this. Some of these Facebook friends claim our lack of prayer in school is why this happened.

I am sick. I am scared. As had as it was to decide to get an Aspergers diagnosis for j was emotionally, now I’m scared for his future. I see people I’ve always felt we’re kind, loving people turn into an angry mob. Some may as well have pitch forks and torches. I fear that a few of j’s teachers who don’t erm “care for him” will now target him. Maybe that fear isn’t rational, but I’m seeing some scary stuff.

A friend said to me “I hope they find out this kid had something else wrong.” My thinking is this: first, the damage is done in so many ways. They won’t retract the autism statement. People already have the opinions. Secondly, then a whole other group of parents will worry for their kids. I think the autism community is strong enough for this. Finally, just as I can’t make others change how they feel, I can not un-see what you’ve “liked” or statuses you’ve commented on. I appreciate the eye opening insight into your true feelings.

Peace love and blessings to you all!

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