Month: November 2012

I’m torn. It’s that time of year again…the holidays. This time comes with a certain amount apprehension and anxiety every year. This year, I want to be with my little family, eat our turkey and the trimmings. I want to relax and enjoy. But, here’s the rub. Stocky is back in the hospital, more than likely going to a rehab facility, and
I feel like I need to hug his neck. I need to hug my Teda. I was feeling homesick for them before this, but now, I’m heartsick too. I’m sure that Stocky will pull through this with flying colors, but I have this need to lay eyes on my family. See, Teda and Stocky are home. They are unconditional love. They are my Teda and Stocky.

So, I’m off the book. I need some space. Here are five reasons why:

1.) I began judging my own happiness based in others posts about how blissful their lives are.

2.) I bean to feel like a phony. It’s not to say I need to air my dirty laundry, but only posting what cute things my fantastic kids and wonderful husband have done lately isn’t authentic. Yes, they are fantastic, but always? No. It gives a sense of faux bliss. Am I happy? Yes, most of the time.

3.). I spend WAY TOO much time checking out what clever things people post, what memes and e cards are circulating and too little time focusing on what matters most.

4.). I found that I was/am expecting people who I’ve not seen in ages or maybe have never seen to validate me.

5.) I need to take the time to nurture the real, present relationships in my life. I need to find a way to be uplifted not by people who don’t really know me, but by those in a position to really do so.

So, will I be back? Probably. My goal here is to reduce my need to be liked. Literally and figuratively. In the mean time, I hope you will shoot me an old fashioned email at kristibell01@yahoo.com

See ya around friends.

Xoxoxo k

1.) forget to pee before laying down. This is a sure sign that you will wake up at 12, 1 and finally get up at 3 am. It’s like the old dr. pepper slogan 10, 2 and 4, but with a bladder.

2.) watch the beginning of election returns with your anxious children. Because, when you wake up as afore mentioned, you will be inclined to check your phone to see if “you” won.

3.) comment on yahoo news stories about afore mentioned election. When you pee at 12, 1 and 3 am, it’s not your best brain working.

4.) comment on Facebook friends posts about the election (unless you have the same political leanings). See number 3.

5.) post on your own Facebook wall regarding the election. See numbers 3 and 4.

6.) send emails to teachers about all the things you thought about between 12 and 1, 1 and 2, and 2 and 3 am. Again, brain not functioning at its best.

7.) google. Period.

8.) see number seven, woman. Get off the Internet. Surely, do NOT google symptoms. This will NOT aid in good sleep for the next night!

9.) blog? Probably not. But here I am anyway. Rambling.

Hugs, k