Headed to the big d later…

So, a month has come and gone. We are headed to Dallas later to find out what the craniofacial surgeon has to say about joe’s palate injury. I’m really struggling not to let the “what ifs” and “I should have done’s” plague my mind right now. We did what the doctor asked. I’m not a surgeon. I have to place trust in him and know that he knows what he’s doing. I just can’t turn my brain off…hmmm…could this be where the boys anxiety and worry come from?!? I slept with the boys all night last night. I always lay down with them, but usually I manage to make it to my room. I’m not sure who was comforting whom? Joe had his arm linked through mine until 3:00 am. Then I woke up. I know I have to keep a calm mind and body today as much for myself as for my family. No use in pondering if I did enough or should I have taken him to one more doctor or could THIS be the source of our year long struggle with fever or if he has to have an UNEXPECTED surgery how will he cope? It will be fine. It WILL be fine. It will BE fine. It will be FINE. My mantra for today. I know how lucky we are that we aren’t facing life-threatening illness. I remind myself of that daily. I still don’t like to see my boy struggle. I want what we all want for our children. Peace. Love. Comfort. Right now, though, what I really want for him is pizza! I know, you’re like, “what?!?pizza?!? This does not compute.” I can give him peace of mind. I can CERTAINLY give him love. I can even give him comfort. Really, those three things can be achieved through one hug. What I can’t give him is pizza. this soft diet is wearing thin on us all…especially him. So, here is to good news and pizza for dinner!

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