Month: October 2013

Stocky has Alzheimer’s.  I hate Alzheimer’s. It’s robbed him of the things that once brought him joy and now it’s robbing him of the ability to swallow.  His health is fading at a more rapid pace since gallbladder removal.  So, it was time for a visit.

The boys haven’t been to Teda and Stockys since he went to the rest home and the big remodel of Teda and Stocky’s house.  Man, they handled that like champs.  Me, I cried seeing Teda’s house so different.  It was beautiful, but different.  

Saturday afternoon, I took Teda to visit the old man.  I stayed for about a half hour and wanted to see my Stocky before I took the boys.  I’m glad I did. It was a shock to my system to see the vibrant man laying in a bed having a hard time even opening his eyes.  He is so tired. I went to pick up the boys and bring them for a brief visit. Hugs, kisses and I love yous.  

I’ll be darned if Stocky didn’t smile when The wee one hugged and kissed him.

Sunday, I went to visit in the am before we were heading home.  I am SO GLAD I did.  Stocky was more alert because they had jostled him to get him hiseds and breakfast.  He asked if I had smokes or matches…or beer.  I almost went to the store right then and there. ;-). He hasn’t had any of those things for 40 years.

I stayed for an hour and a half or so and was waiting for him to fall asleep to sneak quietly out.  I’m so very thankful that didn’t happen.  Here’s what did:

     Me-Stocky, I’ve gotta go pick up those rotten boys and get headed home. I’ll see you soon.  

         I bent down to give him a hug. Meh hugged me back!  I went to give him a kiss on the cheek (as I don’t know the last time I gave him a kiss on the lips…maybe when I was a little girl). He wasn’t having it!  He gave me a kiss on the lips!!!

     Me-Stocky, I love you.

     Stocky-  I love you too.

Then he looked at me. There were a good ten seconds that I know he knew me.  Then he was searching my face and his knowing faded.  He turned toward the window and I told him again I’d see him soon.

Upon our arrival home, the boys and I talked in great length about the boy Stocky was and the young man Stocky was.  It brought them great joy. 

I titled this post little Stocky because the wee one.  He is little stocky.  From looks to his attitude, to his knowing he’s smart bit not caring if you know.  He’s so much like him that we joke he’ll probably ditch school one day and well find him fishing. He doesn’t like to be gone from his house for more than two days. He’s sweet and wickedly funny.  He’s like Stocky in that he has an authentic sense of religion that comes from within.

 He doesn’t need to tell you.  He just believes. Maybe little Stocky knows.

I know how blessed i have been to have Stocky in my life.  Giving unconditional love and healing to my heart when I was the least loveable and the most in need of healing. 

Everyone deserves to have at least one Stocky in their lives.  Maybe the wee one will be someone’s.

This years parent teacher conference was so awesome.  I have to say, I may bribe, plead, beg, coerce these two to follow big brudder all the way through high school and beyond.  There were no surprisess. There was no principal waiting for me as I walked in.  It was un enventful.  Wow!  I didn’t hear, ” Joseph has told several people (when he was upset and feeling out of control), ‘I’m going to tell on you to my mom and she’s going to call the government.’  These kinds of threats make me uncomfortable.”  Last years gold medal winner comment.  So much to say about that.  A. It’s too late now to punish him because you waiting god knows how long to tell me. B. Remember how I told you at the very beginning the gap between emotional age and intellectual age.  That “threat” demonstrates that perfectly.  Stomping saying I’m going to tell ( 3 y.o. Emotionally ) my moms going to call the government (higher intellectual reasoning).  C.  That’s just kind of awesome.  D. You’re going to let an (at the time)  8 year old hurt your feelings?  Sheesh.  

Anyway, that didn’t happen.  You know what did happen a little vindication.  One of the teachers said, “I’ll be honest, when I saw his name in the roster, I was scared.  Last year every time I went down the hallway, he was having a major issue.  This year, the teachers stop and ask ‘how’s Big Brudder doing?’  I tell them great. Because he is.”  

So, we had to live through a bad year to get to this awesome point.  Some I’m sure is maturity, being familiar with the school.  More than that though, I believe in my heart of hearts it is this years match.  It works. He has two strong, in control teachers.  He feels that an doesn’t feel the need to control everything.  While they are strong and in control, they are not rigid in their thinking.  If they see something is not working, they try to find a solution that works for everyone. Not just Big Brudder, not just them, not just the other students everyone .  I am beyond greatfull for this year.  We needed this year to happen.  I needed this year to happen.  Is he perfect?  No!  Will every day be perfect? Nuh- uh.  But more often than not, it’s working, so it’s a win!

The NT wee one it turns out is super smart too.  His greatest challenge is that he hates handwriting.  It’s hard for him and he doesn’t like doing it. So, he does the bare minimum.  Gotta work on that. :-). He has lots of friends and talks in class but stops with reminders.  (Did I ever tell you I almost always had an ‘N’ in conduct because I “talked excessively.”  I guess he comes by it honestly.  

Right now, I’m basking in the glow of my smarty pants kids who are just awesome!