There is nothing quite like the annual chore of spring cleaning to make a woman such as myself realize I really am a terrible house keeper. I wipe down the dust bunnies on occasion, I vacuum the ceiling fans sometimes, I sweep twice daily in the kitchen, but whole guacamole frijole! My house is gross. I can’t believe I’m going to admit to this, but I haven’t cleaned the baseboards since this time last year. I have not wiped down the top of the shower (you know that weird ridge where the shower stall meets the wall…ever!). I’m 5’3″ on a tall day, wearing wedges that only super models can walk in. I tend to clean what I can see. This means the tops of the cabinets, book shelves, door frames, mini blinds, etc forgettaboutit! I’m convinced now that some of the grime is gone, my house might crumble around me. I think the sticky substance on top of the cabinets might have been gluing them to the wall. Mini blinds are gross magnets for dust that won’t come off…ewww! Shall we talk about the genius that picked off white FLAT paint for my walls. Uh, even the Mr. Clean magic erasers are revolting. Light bulbs. What-the-what-the!?! How does something so little get SO nasty. I won’t even go into detail about the wee ones bathroom. Anyone know where I can get a condemned sign? After I bust out the tall ladder again today an get the cobwebs off the walls, the Halloween vibe will be gone until the first spiders rear their heads and build more. Now that I’ve started this process, it’s too late to turn back. I can’t have a house where two windows are bright and shiny and leave the rest with the film thick enough for the kids to write in. One last note: why did I paint my nails just before starting this process? I guess the chipped grimy nails will be proof of my labor.