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I wont name names but faith is a hot button topic in our household. Probably, religion is more the issue. No, it’s faith. The two shorter members of the family battle this age old debate on a semi-regular basis. What I’ve come to realize in this is that I do have faith. I have faith that my little ones who are growing leaps and bounds will find a way to agree to disagree. Who knows, maybe the shortest member of the family will believe enough for both of them. I have faith on my husband. He will find a way, no matter what may come in the future to continue to care for us. I have faith in my family. I have faith that when treated properly, mother nature will continue to give us her beautiful gifts. I have faith in my friends. I believe they are there when I truly need them. How could these things (my beautiful family and friends and this awesome world we live in) be possible without some sort of divine intervention? I believe my beliefs, Brian has his. The wee ones certainly have their own unique perspectives on the issue. We manage to live in harmony…most of the time. We respect one another. That doesn’t mean we agree. Simply, sometimes we agree to disagree. We live and let live. Do you?

Valentine’s Day is just mere days away; this has gotten me thinking about love and marriage. Not just any love and marriage, rather those closest to my heart. I’m thinking of my grandparents’ love for one another. In 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a, the Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (NIV) Well, in the great love story that is Teda and Stocky’s I’ve learned that love is not always patient nor kind. Sometimes it is rude, self-seeking, easily angered and often keeps record of wrongs. It often protects, trusts and does always hope. In their case, love has persevered. Has their marriage and love been perfect? Far from it. But when the chips were down and Teda was diagnosed with colon cancer almost twenty years ago, Stocky cared for her. He was patient, he was kind. He was not easily angered. Not an easy feat for a man dealing with a sick, stubborn Chisolm. Now, I see my grandfather in a battle of his own. He is often in the past, but always looking for Teda to guide him to the present. Teda’s love for Stocky is one that I see differently than others. I see that he too is her world. He is the smartest, kindest man she’s ever known. She loves him more than she can put into words. As they are about to spend Valentine’s Day together in a rehabilitation hospital because she will not leave his side, I consider myself lucky to have learned that love is NOT perfect. It is about weathering the storms. It is about loving someone: faults and all. It’s about liking the one you are married to. It’s about creating a history that can guide you back to the present. xoxoxo

So, my hometown made the news. It was not for good deeds done, someone getting accepted to Harvard, no one from there found the cure to cancer…Oh, no. It was because some idiot decided that it would be a good idea to leave a noose and death threat for a young black girl. Nice, right? It’s a real proud moment for me. But, this incident has caused me to think: about racism. Anyone who tells me they are color blind (other than a child), I’m skeptical of. Warning: I’m about to make a confession that makes this white woman uncomfortable! I think, inherently, we all have thoughts that are colored by color. I think when we ignore our thoughts, deny that we have them, or turn a blind eye to others we have a problem. I will admit on more than one occasion, I have locked my doors when a man of color has walked by my car. It is a reflex. It is not right. But, I HAVE done it. I am not proud, but I acknowledge that I am a flawed human. I wont sit here and try to rationalize by saying that I would lock my door no matter the race of the man who had just passed. I am sure that if some preppy looking white serial killer walked past, I would have had a false sense of security. I DO NOT believe one race is inferior nor another superior. That’s just wrong. But, I am human and I am flawed. I try to acknowledge when one of these irrational thoughts creeps up and FIX it. There are stupid people out there. It is sad. There are far more reliable ways of classifying people than by race or sex or religion. Are you a “good person?” Do you treat animals, children and old people kindly. Are you involved in your community? Do you pay taxes? Do you contribute to society for the better? Do you treat your spouse, mother, father, brother, sister with respect? Are you kind? Do you litter? I’m dumbfounded and heart broken. I hear so many people talk about how our hometown has always been racist. I think to an extent, as I said above, we are ALL prejudiced to an extent. Do we have preconceived notions about people who are different than us? Sure. Do we often have stereotypes in our minds of people. Sure. This is human nature. It is when we are blind to our prejudices, that we are racist. For me, growing up in this sleepy little town, it wasn’t about the color of ones skin. Granted, there weren’t a lot of black people at our school. I remember the kids being grouped more by “activity” rather than race. As it was a small town, the groups often overlapped. You had your jocks, band geeks, theater nerds, FFA kids, freaks, and various other groups. I’m sad that for some, it was viewed differently. I grew up in a home where racism, racial slurs, racist jokes would NEVER have been told or tolerated. In fact, I didn’t even know what the “N word” was until I was 12 and that was only because my cousin had to tell me. I had hoped that enough time had passed, that my kids would never know what the “N word” meant. They see people. They are truly color blind. The fact that people inject such ignorance into their innocent children and send them into the world to spread the virus makes me sad. Hoping that peace enters the hearts of those afflicted with such hate. Hoping that patience, love and forgiveness enters the hearts of those wronged.

UGH! It’s so hard when your child struggles. It’s even harder when, as the mama, you have to tell your child one thing when all you want to do is scoop him up, hug him and tell him it will all be okay. But, that’s not always the BEST thing a mama can do for her son. Sometimes, she has to tell him what he NEEDS to hear, not what she WANTS to say. The eldest had a meltdown in class today. Why is basically irrelevant. He felt unheard. He felt un-valued. He is neither. But, that too is irrelevant. Sometimes, what we FEEL is more relevant than the TRUTH. Because while we feel unheard and un-valued, how can we hear the truth. It hurts my heart that I have to say, “Son, you CAN NOT behave that way.” “Son, you can not meltdown in class.” “Son…” Later, after the lectures have sunken in and we’ve washed the day away, I can hug him and tell him it will all be okay.

Dear Chet, I know that it is sometimes hard to be the little brudder, but know this: you are the best little brother God could have ever given Joe. You love him more than you love yourself, bacon and chocolate donuts with sprinkles combined. You help him in a way that mama and daddy could not. You have given him a reason to be social with kids. You help him know how to be. Beyond what you do for your brudder, you are special beyond words for being YOU. You are kind. You are FUNNY! You are sweet. You give the best hugs and kisses. You are smart. You are a social butterfly without caring what anyone thinks about you. If you ever get in trouble, it will be because YOU chose it. No one will be able to talk you into something you don’t want to do. You are silly. You love banjo at five. You love drums. You love Tom and Jerry more than Sponge Bob. You have eyelashes that already melt girls hearts. You stand up for what is right. You love God even when your brother questions his existence. You worry without letting it age your soul. YOU are special. Love, Mama