Confession time: I haven’t really cleaned the boys room in six months. I’ve cleared paths, changed sheets and vacuumed around hoarded piles of paper and other randomness. Today, two full days before the first day of school, I braved Costco (because we need lunchbox necessities and six months worth of organic flour and a case of toilet paper bigger than the back of my 4Runner)
I unloaded the two cases of organic whole milk, two packages of frozen organic chicken breast, 2lbs of organic butter, organic Colby jack cheese slices, two ten pound bags of organic flour, two cases of organic chicken broth, three two pound bags of organic coffee and two cases of organic black beans with ease. These are on my permanent Costco list. (And, Costco knows that I apparently cannot pass the words organic or new without throwing it in my cart. I mean, it’s “only” ten dollars.)
It’s the other things I threw in the cart that caused me to have to clean out my pantry, which is right at my kitchen door, along with every pair of shoes, flip flops and crocs every member of this family owns. I found toys, tools, swimsuits and I swear to God at least one pair of little boys underwear tucked in a nook. In. MY. PANTRY. I was so super happy with that last find as I walked (okay stomped) to the boys’ room to deposit the toys and laundry.
I went to dump the underwear and swimsuits first. What the ?!? “How long has your laundry basket been full of stuffed animals?!!!!!” “Oh, a while,” replied the eldest from his spot lounging on the couch. I think there may have been cartoon steam coming out of my ears at this point. Then, I made the mistake. I ooched around the bend of the bunk bed where the ladder and dresser cut off my line of sight and saw clothes hanging out of dressers, piles of clothes, eggs (don’t worry. Easter variety not scrambled.) I’ve been giving the boys more responsibility, more space, less nagging. This was a huge mistake. HUGE. I know big has trouble throwing away paper. But we filled one whole trash can full of paper, acorns (?!?) broken crayons, random trash I snuck in when they weren’t looking. We even moved the bottom bunk. Funky Monkeys! For kids who aren’t allowed food in their room, there sure were lots of tic-tacs, Cheerios and popcorn kernels. Also under the bed were six Pokemon cards, two more pairs of underwear, one half a pair of pajamas, five books, a stick of gum, a set of electronic drum sticks, a mummified lizard in a ziplock baggie and all the socks that I thought the dryer ate.
Their room is clean, dusted, vacuumed, mopped and ready for a new school year. I have told the kids that from now on on Saturdays the wifi will be turned off until their room is clean to my standards. The reality is I will rewrite this blog just in time for Christmas.