Today started out bad. The kind of bad where Big Brudder wakes up at 4 am full of anxiety about an upcoming field trip and can’t get back to sleep. I agreed to walk him in to school so that I could visit with his teacher about it and give her the low down about the bus anxiety.
Big Brudder is becoming increasingly anxious and whiny as we walk down the hall. I tell him that I won’t be able to walk him in anymore if this is how it’s going to make him start his day. We’re both exhausted; we are all too aware of how raw exhaustion makes our emotions. Especially if you are an already emotional person and it’s the full moon…
As I stand in the hallway talking to Big Brudders teacher, I peak in the door. Big Brudder has crawled under his desk. This is his go to place when he is overwhelmed, so that’s not a surprise. What I saw with him made my heart break and smile all at the same time. There on the floor in front of Big Brudder was a girl, sitting with her arms hugging her legs. Talking so kindly and gently to him, no exasperation in her demeanor. Also there on the floor were two other kids, clearly listening to what my boy had to say.
I am so thankful to have been witness to this moment. Big Brudder feels alone and nothing I say or do can change that, but knowing kids care about him and for him makes me happy. My wish is that one day, sooner rather than later, he can feel the love, accept the love and put it in his pocket for another day.
Autism In Our House 